“What is and always will be my greatest creation is you.” – Howard Stark to his son, Tony Stark, in Ironman 2.

Was doing a little Marvel marathon, watching the Ironman series and heard this line.

These kind of lines seem to always snag me.

I can be feeling like I’m snuggled up in God’s arms, doing God’s will for my life, being blessed and, hopefully, being a blessing, and lines like these will make that sound like the needle just ripped a new groove in an LP.

The movie fades and I see myself in that meeting with the leaders of the Israelites asking Samuel for a king ‘like all the other nations.” in 1 Samuel 8:5, with me asking God for a dad like all the other kids.

Don’t get me wrong, I am well over being called a bastard most of my childhood and moving from home to home and state to state (and I only share the bite of it with you to show you it exists) but I’m just like you. (In case you had a doubt)

It’s in these moments, when I’ve watched movies like “Frequency” with Dennis Quaid and Jim Caviezel and start crying when they do that faded scene where the father and son are talking to each other through time due to “the mother of all sun spots” that Les, Stephanie, or Lee Anne calls, or Max runs into the room and pounces on me, or Emmett does this big giant open mouth smile that makes his eyes look like tiny little slits.

It’s also in those times, though, that I catch myself having wandered just a bit away from my own spirit and it’s fellowship with God.

This isn’t a ‘feel good ending’ story and neither is this life. I don’t miraculously get a dad who takes me to the park to fly a kite. I don’t miraculously suddenly have implanted the memory of him helping me ride a bike with training wheels or helping me buy my first car.

It’s better.

I keep the memories I have and that sometimes send me into the mulligrubs AND I get:

“And I heard a loud voice from the throne, saying, “Now God’s presence is with people, and he will live with them, and they will be his people. God himself will be with them and will be their God. He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and there will be no more death, sadness, crying, or pain, because all the old ways are gone.” – Revelation 21:4

You do not know the ecstatic joy God has in store for each of us unless you have at sometime experienced tears, death, sadness, crying, or pain.

I have wished for death and I know how good it is to live.

“Brothers and sisters, think about the things that are good and worthy of praise. Think about the things that are true and honorable and right and pure and beautiful and respected.” – Philippians 4:8

“We capture every thought and make it give up and obey Christ.” – 2 Corinthians 10:5b

No more mulligrubs.

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